Where Did You Go?

It’s been almost five months since I’ve been online and I’m so ashamed! I’ve welcomed my life to the internet and leave you hanging! So let’s hit a little refresh button to end the 2019 year.

Since July, the school year of course started and that itself is a busy lifestyle. I’ve got a fourth grader that is too cool for his mom and a first grader trying to fit in with the readers in his class. My heart hurts that it takes him extra work to learn how to read, but he doesn’t give up and has improved so much.

I turned the big 2-7 this October and celebrated by being able to drive! I don’t full time drive, my mom is still my chaperone most days, but I’ve grown to enjoy it because we get to talk and catch up. Being a mom myself it’s hard to get some gossip time in.

Thanksgiving came and went quickly, as I hosted my in laws along with a small drop in from my mom, sister and baby brother. I’ve got a lot of family, but it’s become a lot less stressful with facing the fact that I can’t see them all.

December brought on by far, the biggest month of the year. Holidays? Pshhhh. Worse! Sorry, I’ll get a little woman like now. For years, I had struggled with migraines and heavy periods. When I had kids, I was secretly grateful to have nine months without one (haha) But this year, when facing epilepsy and migraines and seizures… it brought on the reality that having my own additional children was off the table. I’m not saying I wanted four kids, but the idea of having more and risking my life was something I couldn’t face… So after a few OB visits, I finally talked my doctor into a hysterectomy. I’ve heard it over and over that I’m too young and I couldn’t wrap my head over how many people can bash the idea. But that’s another day conversation. December 6th, I went in and had my big young uterus taken out. No complications and plenty of drugs later and I was released to heal.

I couldn’t believe how such a simple procedure could bring on the worst healing pain. I was in bed for days and did not like the idea of being cooped up. But I didn’t want to get yelled at, so home I stayed! One day shy of my two week recovery, I ended up in the hospital AGAIN. This time, apparently gallstones are a thing and I had them. Into emergency surgery I went. Thanks to my mom who insisted I get my gallbladder removed so the pain wouldn’t stress me into an episode. After an overnight stay and poor hospital food, I came home again to recover. In between this time frame, I’d been helping behind the scenes with last minute Christmas gifts, school parties and teacher luncheons because I’m a mom and couldn’t stop. Four days before Christmas I’m laying in bed trying to fight the pain so I could get some wrapping finished up, except everyone kept telling me.. slow down. Every family Christmas, I showed up. In pain, most of the time or on pain meds and the kicker…. starving! My body wasn’t hungry, but my head was saying girl get you some food. I even lost over ten pounds 🥳

So tonight, I’m hanging out on my couch, listening to my boys playing video games and my youngest watching a movie in bed with Eric and attempting this relax thing. I’m a work in progress. I’ve always been a go getter but maybe this was the sign for 2020 to bring my butt to slow down mode. Either way… I’m grateful. Grateful for Eric who’s been my rock through it all. My mom, my parents and even my in laws who have helped us in every way they would. And also my boss, who has let me rest up and still get my bonus because I’m a kick ass worker other times ha!

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