How Did You Know?

Was there ever a moment when you were looking at child one, two or three and decided at that moment, nope, no more kids for me? Maybe they had just really worked your nerves that day. Maybe the pregnancy was everything less than stellar. It wasn’t the flaunt your belly and look so graceful like so many show off on social media. There’s almost always a reason. I’ve even heard that after something special happens, you’ll feel “complete” and just know that your family has everything you need.

I don’t ever remember feeling completely done. I didn’t think I’d want more kids after I had Preston. But I also didn’t think a lot of things in my life would happen. After I had Owen, which was such a gross pregnancy, I can recall the moment my OB told me the chances of having any more kids was slim to none. Oh okay. That just got decided for me. I mean it’s not like I ever liked being pregnant. It was rough, to say the least, but for someone to tell me that I couldn’t, well that was a challenge.

It wasn’t until 2016 that we were brave enough to try for that baby girl. Between the constant all day sickness, the multiple trips to the emergency room, followed by brief stays in and out for dehydration and antibiotics for who knows what, we found out it was going to be another boy. Oh, how hard I cried. It wasn’t that I was mad or disappointed, I think it was just the idea of knowing I was risking so much and I thought The Big Guy would cut me a small break. The months that followed and leading up to Little Lucas Quinn coming into the world were rough. We tried to hide it for as long as possible knowing that at any moment something could go wrong…

Alas, after a long evening/night of walking Town Center for the boys to trick or treat, a fresh shower was everything I could want. Unfortunately, there’s nothing like laying down and feeling like you’ve peed yourself. Whoops. Possible TMI. But it’s my story. With my mom laughing at me as I waddle to the bathroom, I tell her that no, it’s still happening, and she explains my water must have broken and I should probably go to the hospital. November 1, 2016, Lucas Q came into the world looking exactly like his daddy. He was everything I could’ve imagined. Another amazingly perfect baby boy. My heart had never been so full. Why is it that I still wanted more? Why was I set on trying again? There was something telling me to.

But for now, I was content. Content with being a boy mom to the most wonderful trio I could imagine.

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