4/20/2020

Today’s a big deal for quite a few of my cousins, I won’t name names for law purposes (ha). But for me it’s a normal Monday with half a day of work followed by learning with a first and fourth grader. Honestly, I don’t know how essential workers are teaching their kids and surviving with work. I feel like I’m constantly drowning! So thank you for being essential and kicking ass at the same time at home with your kids.

Before all of this started, I honestly was debating homeschooling my first grader. He was struggling in school and it was truly breaking my heart. He would work so hard and his grades still weren’t good enough. He was frustrated, tired and in tears most nights. I didn’t blame the school, the teacher, or even myself, but I knew that he needed help. His teacher and I had a conversation before Spring Break about how we could both help him more to achieve his reading goals and I was looking forward to it all. I was super optimistic that everything was going to work out. Now, it’s been over a month that I’ve had to teach my little first grader at home and it has been the most draining and rewarding experience! Without a set in stone schedule, he’s been thriving so much! He misses his teacher and friends, but the balance of school life and home life has become a big factor for him. He’s reading better and even excelling in his math, more than he was at school. Of course, all kids learn at different rates, it just took a quarantine to help my muy guapo learn how to pace himself. So even though I can assure you I’m not teacher material, it’s made me so confident in preparing him for the (hopefully!) second grade come August. I can’t thank the teachers that do this on a daily and that have been providing us with all of the resources during these difficult times. If it weren’t for our teacher sending out information and videos, I’d definitely be questioning my lack of first grade knowledge!

Now, enough about first grade, how about those middle school fourth graders? Our school district is different and put my baby (that’s not a baby!) in the middle school before mama was ready. It has definitely been a challenge being in a new school, but it was going smoothly. He was making good grades and after constant bugging, finally learning how to slow down on his work so he wouldn’t make small errors. So how is it that now, he’s completely going backwards! He’s rushed through assignments and putting off school work and it’s driving me nuts! I’d have to say, I’m proud that there haven’t been too many tears shed throughout this time. Is it bad to say I’m ready for summer? Because I could use a vacation. Is that even going to be allowed? Gosh, I sure hope so!

Lastly, my tiny terror. My three-nager is driving me NUTS! He’s my last little and trust me when I say, I’ve done everything against the books. Everything that I did with my other two, it all changed when Lucas Q came in. He’s not potty trained and still co-sleeps. (Insert gasping Karens now) I know that he “needs” to be potty trained and in his own bed. But, I’ve just enjoyed his little long legs kicking me in the back most nights. I enjoy poop diapers. NO KAREN, I DON’T! But I don’t think I’ve ever met a child as stubborn as mine. He is as independent as he wants, talks up a storm and does everything he can to get his way. I’m trying guys, but this quarantine is definitely something to not complain about.

I’ve enjoyed hauling my kids to grocery pickup and late dinners. I’ve enjoyed the slow down of life. The long hair and last minute changes to bed time. Everyone can say that it’s a lot because hell yes it is, but this my friends, is what everyone needed. Even if you don’t know it yet.

Trying to stay sane

xoxo

Sunset

So Close & Feeling So Far

The exciting moment is coming close, six months from having my last seizure. February 7th. Every time I’ve had an episode (as I call my seizures), I keep that moment in my brain. I mainly do it to help keep my memory stable. The unfortunate part, I don’t feel excited about the six month mark.

I don’t feel like it’s been six months because I still have the dreaded feeling, the feeling that I’m worn out and exhausted. The feeling of my body not being able to move. I don’t know what it’s like when I actually have an episode. I don’t have a warning sign when I’m going to have one, it just happens. I’ve been lucky that every time I’ve had one, someone close to me has been around or near to help me. But when I come back from the episode, I don’t even know what happened.

When I was diagnosed, the neurologist gave me a list of triggers that could help me from having an episode. As a mom, I looked at the list and chuckled. Oh less stress and more sleep? Probably not. No alcohol or strobes of lights? Welp, how will I adult without alcohol and an occasional movie? Not enough hydration. Check, check, check. I literally was a walking list of triggers. I did everything I was not supposed to do. And it caught up to me.

Now, they couldn’t give me a reason as to how I became an epileptic. But here’s a list and I can’t do these things I’ve been doing most of my adult life. As I started making changes, I started feeling so much better. I was losing weight, taking my meds, checking out hobbies and I was finally feeling like things were going to be “normal” again. But it’s been short lived. Luckily, I haven’t had an episode, but the lagging feeling of stress and overhaul always comes back.

There has to be a balance. This can’t be how life is forever. There has to be a better way. I just have to find it.

Xoxo,

Sunset

Texas. Oh Texas.

Living in the great big state of Texas has it’s share of beauty. I will be the first one to say “What is life without Whataburger?” Yes, that would be the ONE thing I’d miss the most about living here! But today I’m not going to thrill everyone about why it is Texas is a pretty awesome place to live. I’m trying to figure out how in the world Texas has the highest number of children’s deaths by being left in a hot vehicle!?

I’ve read and watched stories about how there have been 20+ heat related deaths in 2016 alone. That to me is scary. The thought of my kid’s being left in an air conditioned car is terrifying now a days, so how can any parent forget their kid in a shut off vehicle? What’s worse is that now people are coming up with inventions and apps that will help you remember to get your child out of the vehicle. We were supposed to have flying cars by now, yet we can’t even get enough common sense to make sure everyone is out of the car safely. Good job America.

I can’t knock every single incident, I know that things can happen. But everytime I see it happening and the media talks so highly of these parents.. “Oh they would never do this, they’d give you the shirt off their back” speech is such crap. No, no you can’t say that. For example, last week a set of twins were left in a hot car (let me remind you summers in Texas are 99 degrees+ daily!) and when neighbors saw the dad by the pool pouring water on the twins they went to see what happened, but it was too late. Hey, how about you call 911 and try to get a medical staff to try to save your kids? But he didn’t. The twins unfortunately didn’t make it. The kicker here, the dad was on drugs. Drugs? Seriously. I feel for the mother in the situation of course. And even Tyler Perry reached out to her to help with expenses. But the pain of this mother losing her twins will forever be there all because someone chose drugs over their kids.

Texas can be known for many things, from cow tippin to having the best bar b que around, but to hear of senseless acts like this, no, it’s not okay.

So before you go and buy all the new tech saavy car seats that will alert you that you left your child in a car, or pay $5.99/month on an app to remind you you have a child with you-be sure to have the common sense to look back. I check on my kids constantly (and I get to hear the fighting over toys in the back anyways). Open your eyes and stop worrying about your cell phone or running ten minutes late. Every life matters, including the ones in the back seat. Don’t let everything going on around you distract you from your biggest resposibility.