I’ve been in this constant struggle. A struggle that some days make me worse rather than better. A struggle that I’m battling uphill one day at a time.
I told myself that I’d be a better me. I would start choosing myself. Not in the “I’m leaving my kids” choosing me, but more being able to make my own choices and do what it is I want to do.
The problem is… I don’t know who I am today. I’ve become so accustomed of doing for others.
I started writing as an outlet to help me cope with the separation, with the changes I was going to have to face. Changes that I asked for. Changes that are affecting everyone around me and I get to reap the sorrow everyone feels.
One thing that I know is that as I’ve looked back on the photos from the past year until now and I can see the difference. I can see that the smile I have is genuine. I started working out for ME. I lost weight and gained muscle, for me. The best part is that I feel amazing. I feel confident in myself, in my choices, and that everything will work out. It may be a long journey and it’s not always going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it. Every single sad, good, bad and happy moment will be worth it.